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it has taken me 2 weeks to do this. and two weeks later, it’s still no easier. my sweet, sweet, super loving 15 year old puppy Ruben had to be put down on Oct. 23, 2012. For those of you who know me, or know me just a little, you knew that Ruben was my fucking world. My everything. My shadow. My little man. My pumpkin. I know animals cant live forever, but Ruben was hands-down the most human dog I’ve ever met. He was hilarious, insanely precious, super sweet, crazy spoiled, and had a love for chicken I can’t even wrap my head around. He was special and everyone who knew him, loved the shit outta him. But after being on this earth for 15 years, his time had finally come to an end. I knew his health was fading, but he still kept on pushing. However, the morning of Oct. 23, 2012, I witnessed my poor baby get so weak he had to prop himself against the refrigerator just to stand. It broke my heart, and I didn’t want him to suffer like that any longer. So I had to make the incredibly difficult decision to put him to rest. I knew that if I didn’t do it that same day, I’d never do it. I knew I’d talk myself out of something that had to be done due to my own selfishness of wanting to keep my baby around. It tortured me all day, and I cried so hard I had a migraine big enough for a horse. I’ve had Ruben for a whole 10 years, and he has been my “child” that whole time. I gave him more than love than he could swallow, and I don’t regret a second of it. People asked me why I fed him bottled water, because you know, he’s a “dog” and should be fine with tap. Well, that’s not how I treat my animals. I respect their lives and try to do right by them as best I can. Ruben was spoiled rotten. Great with kids, great with strangers, never barked at anyone, and never bit anyone — largely due to the fact a lot of his teeth were removed the day I got him from the pound. Yup, he was a rescue dog. When I first saw him, he was an ugly lil shit — all flea bitten and previously abused. I knew he’d be a cutie once he got cleaned up, so I adopted him and took him under my wing. I didn’t know what to name him when I got him. Took me 3 whole days. But I didn’t name Ruben, Ruben chose his own name. I’ll never forget, it was the final night of American Idol between Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken. Ruben won, and my mom shouted “RUUUUBEENNNN!!”…next thing I know, this dog came flying into the room jumping up and down. Welp! Looks like his name will be Ruben, he immediately responded to it lol. Over the years, Ruben turned out to have a golden personality and a specific quirkiness that I knew I’d never find in another animal. He loved sleeping on anything that smelled like me — my clothes, my shoes, my old wigs LMAO! Anything that had his mommy’s scent, he was gonna snuggle up on and take over. He had his own bed, but he wouldnt sleep on it, until I placed one of my old t-shirts on top of it to make him feel secure. He hated it when I had to leave him, and I hated when I had to leave him, but we loved each other up when I returned to him and he would do these cute doggy backflips because he was so excited. I kept him healthy for as long as I could. Fed him ONLY dog food, and occasionally gave him a tiny piece of chicken a few times a year as a treat. You see, I had another dog before Ruben, who was also my joy and best friend for 12 years of my life. But I was young and stupid, and fed him table-scraps. Those later contributed to his poor health and I vowed that the next animal I get would never be fed anything but kibble. Ruben went blind earlier this year, and developed a neurological disorder that would cause him to have really scary seizures. I had him on meds but he never fully recovered — maybe only 80%. I started preparing myself for the worst because I know once a dog’s health starts to crumble, it crumbles fast. I didn’t want to watch my baby die, so I had to put him out of his misery and remind myself that I gave him the best 10 years of his life. I still cry my eyes out whenever I see his picture or think of something cute he used to do, but I’m not sad. I just miss my baby and a piece of me is gone. I will always love him and he’ll forever be loved and missed for as long as I’m breathing.

If you wanna see other pictures of my baby, click the “ruben” tag…he was such a gangsta lol <3

  1. wtfriies reblogged this from kanyebreast and added:
    bawling rn
  2. eroticismexpolored reblogged this from kanyebreast
  3. thatssomimi reblogged this from kanyebreast
  4. whoissugar reblogged this from kanyebreast and added:
    Wow! I’m so sorry to hear about your Reuben. Lots of love and positive energy to you. ♥
  5. hashtagidiommeme reblogged this from kanyebreast and added:
    I don’t even know Resha like that, or her dog Ruben and this made ME cry. The bond between animal and human is sacred; I...
  6. biggsunko said: I’m so sorry to hear this Resha!!! I know folks that aren’t “dog people” won’t get it, but this is heartbreaking. Losing a dog isn’t “like’ losing a family member, it IS losing a family member. You are in my prayers.
  7. in-zan-ity said: Dangit…I’m crying. I’m sorry about Ruben, hun…*hugs*
  8. brownblaze said: Resha, I’m so sorry hun. My GF is going through a process with one of her dogs and even though I don’t firsthand understand I def get how animals can be more consistent than humans and the pain of losing them. You did a good thing for him.
  9. humbleaudacity said: awwww so sorry for your loss , this was extremely touching .
  10. boogiedownprod said: I lost my baby Honey in June due to getting hit by a card. I was a wreck for 2 weeks. My sympathy and condolences.
  11. missteyk said: RIP ruben!! prayers up to you Resha,
  12. llvnos said: I just teared up :( awwww
  13. miralanena said: Prayers to you for losing a true friend.
  14. anditgoesalilsomethinglikethis said: as a dog owner I dread this day….praying for your loss.
  15. brosninja said: so sad. my condolences. i’m glad you were able to experience his love. <3
  16. kawaiijamaican reblogged this from kanyebreast
  17. kawaiijamaican said: OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :(
  18. migmuffins reblogged this from kanyebreast