since youre like the queen of food &shit lol. i have a bf whom was once married & has lived the married life. hes 28 & im 23. he usually only dates women older than him. we live together now & its been about 8 months. i dont know how to cook. im super insecure about it because i know what hes used to. but he says it doesnt bother him. but it bothers me. whats the easiest way to learn how to cook without it being disgusting :(
REEESSSHAA! I get to see Big K.R.I.T. tomorrow for the FIRST TIME! he'll be here at the Middle East (Boston!) I got a broken foot and i'm 5'1....but this bitch is gonna be up in that spot front row, lined up an hour before the show just so I can make sure to have him sign my titties LOL Love YOU Long time for great recipes and for intro me to KRIZZLE! OMG soo excited!!! I know you understand how excited I am~ OUTFITS TO BE PLANNED!!!
^_^ have fun, and wear comfy shit you don’t mind getting drinks spilled on and shoes you don’t mind getting stepped on. it gets rowdy, esp when he moshpits.
I'm a 23-year old soon-to-be college graduate and I've been having some of the worst problems in the "relationship/sex" department over the last 4 years. After my last break-up in October, I decided to give up on relationships for awhile. Lately, I've been feeling like it's time for me to get back out there and at least meet some decent guys, but I'm so damn scared I'll end up back in square one. Any advice?
Me again lol, I couldn't get to deep b/c I thought it was a limit, a lil insight, yeah he cheated, if course idk how many times, the 1 I found out about is what made me leave, e bn together since 94, off n on, always treated me well, never abused me, I'm not a fool n love but of course I love him, we hv 17yrs under our belt, I've tried another guy but he was horrible, I'm not settling though I can assure u tht, we r friends right now n I'm ok with it, he wants to get back together, I'm undecided
ok…well, do whatever your heart tells you. what may be a dealbreaker for me, may not be a dealbreaker for you…if you feel he deserves another chance despite everything, go for it. good luck!
I love the advice you giving the older chick about the ex but isn't it possible she could truly be in love and not just with the idea of it? she may not b lonely or settling, but just a woman n love? I agree waiting and not bringing baggage but some people may b meant to be, no matter what happened in the past SOME ppl do change, just another way of looking at it
i would agree with you had she said something like "this guy and i were in love and he treated me like silk the entire time and showed me the utmost respect. he loved me and took care of me every day we were together. But he took a job in Paris and has been gone for 2 years, but now he’s back in the states and he wants to get back together, should i?"
but the first thing she reported to me the bad he did, which means its still fresh in her mind, which means that is what caused them to break up the the first place…yet she’s considering getting back with this same person…and its like, why the fuck for? if someone disrespects you like that, i don’t see why you’d wanna be with that same person. like, what is it about this man that you love so much that would totally void that kinda shit…maybe if she told me what she loved about him and feels she cannot live without, i’d have better insight. she hasn’t given another man a chance to show her what real love is like because she’s still suck on this nigga. i dont know what it is about this man that has her by the balls despite the fact he’s blatantly shitted on her. but all i know is that he’s cheated on her a bunch of times, and she CANNOT get over him. she hasn’t even fully forgiven him, cuz she referred to him as a “ol cheating itch”. i mean…these are her words, not mine lol. if he’s still an “ol cheating bitch” in her head, wtf is the fuss over? what’s so hard to let go of? was he just amazing in bed? that sounds like settling to me, not love. what’s to love about that? i’d love to know, personally. like, i really want to understand what makes him so amazing. cuz from the info she’s given me, it sounds like she’s comfortable with that bullshit and is willing to accept it. a lot of women get dickmatized and swear its love. they put their entire heart and soul in their pussy and when a guy hits that spot good enough, chicks put up with anything, and i do mean anything. so like i told her, if she wants to go back to him, good luck to her…i wish her the the best, but i personally would not go for the okiedoke. yes, people change, some people change for the better….but that’s some bullshit i would refuse to deal with. if i were a guy, who cheated on a woman a bunch of times, and she kept taking me back, i’d know in my head i could get away with anything…cuz she’s proven she’ll always deal with it and she aint goin nowhere. ppl who cant let shit like this go, often fall victim to wanting to believe anything their s/o says. they want it to be true so bad, but often times its not. if she knew this man had truly changed for the better, and if she knew he’d never ever cheat on her again, she wouldn’t be asking me or anyone else for advice.
but, if she takes him back, she will always have that worry in the back of her head if he’s cheating again, she will always have some trust issues with this man, and life’s too damn short to be stressed over some dick like that. that’s just my opinion. and if people ask for my opinion, i’m gonna give it to them *shrug* she may end up going back to this guy, it seems like thats what she wants…and i’m not gonna stop her, but hey…if he does it again, she shouldn’t be surprised at all. and who knows, there’s a drop of hope he wont ever do her wrong again…for her sake, i hope he doesnt. cuz she seems like she cannot let him go at all. but the kinda woman i am, you ruin the trust, there’s no coming back from that. i will cut you off w/ no hesitation bruh lol.
but again, it’s totally up to her. it’s her decision. it’s her heart on the line, not mine.
From a female perspective, what is it like to lose your virginity? What do you experience, and when do you feel its right to give it up? I've heard there's some pain, how long before sex turns from pain to pleasure?
Me again, with the ex, no I'm not settling, neva thought I'd b the type to say "but I love him" but I do, I dismissed him about 6mths ago but never fully was over him, I don't wanna get with a man n not b able to fully commit because he's on my mind, I def feel what u saying tho, I just needed tht outside advice, thx :)
just understand 2 things…
very few people know what it’s like to actually love and be loved. very few people know what real love is. so many people force that love shit with another person out of loneliness and some sad form of desperation they are too proud to admit, and then you become the “but i love him” type. he’s cheated on you over and over and yet you still can’t get over him. why? you seriously gotta do some soul searching and figure out why you don’t feel you deserve better. i cant tell you why, only you know this. many people settle because they don’t wanna put forth the effort into getting to know new people. they become mentally exhausted over the thought of meeting new people alone, so they go back to a piece of shit man or woman and pretend the few good qualities they have outweigh the bad, when deep down…they know better. and you know better.
when my ex and i broke up, i gave myself as much time as i needed to move on before allowing myself to be emotionally close with another man. and guess what, it took me over a year. i’d say about a year and 3 months actually. it took me about 6 or 7 months to get over him, but i spent the remaining months healing my heart so that i wouldn’t bring baggage into the next relationship. that’s just me. i refuse to rebound. i will take as much time as i need because i value my own sanity that much lol. so, a year+ later, my life wasn’t over. i didnt die. i survived. i got stronger. i got wiser. and because i’ve never been the type to “need” a man in order to be happy, i’m not bitter and never will be. you’re not even giving yourself a chance if you’re focusing on this man and this man only. you should want better for yourself…foreal. good luck.
I'm 21, met this guy 2 months ago and he's ridiculously compatible with me BUT I'm about to graduate and move back home and he's still got another year. He also just got out of a 2 year relationship that took a lot out of him in December annnd neither of us are trying to deal with a long distance relationship. This is the first good thing to happen to me ever and it sucks knowing soon it might fall flat when it doesn't have to...what do I do?
i’m sure hes a great guy, i’m sure he’s everything you say he is….but dude, you just graduated, he still has another year to go and who knows, he might find a girl he likes more and you might find an even more compatible guy for yourself. you’re both STILL growing as people and you’re both still finding yourselves. u said he’s out of a 2 year relationship, which could make him emotionally unavailable for you right now. he might not even be able to give you what you need/want right now. you’ve gotta accept that shit. i understand you’re bummed out. finding a good guy and feeling like you might miss out ALWAYS sucks…but, what are u gonna do, put your life on hold for him? i wouldn’t advise that shit at all, esp since you’re JUST 21..at least wait until he graduates and see where you both are. you could both either be moved on by that point, or you could still be sweet on each other and find a way to make it work. that’s the awesome thing about life, for the most part — it’s unpredictable. but in the meantime, date other people, study hard and be successful. you have the rest of your life to worry about some dude.
Resha,I just wanted to say that I admire the woman that you are. You know when to interject humor and also when to be serious minded. I know this tumblr is where you come to "goof around" but I think you're absolutely smart, beautiful and well rounded. When you give advice; it really makes a lot of sense. You write really well too. I just thought to let you know. Have a great day!
At the tender age of 21 I am just now beginning to talk to men on a more intimate level, and I'm a bit naive. I was talking to a man for a month but recently found out that he was having sex with another woman on and off. He seemed offended that I asked about that part of his life and I haven't spoken with him since. I am truly hurt and having a hard time moving on. I want to call and ask him why he treated me that way. Should I or just move around?
there’s a FINE LINE between being naive, and being stupid. don’t teeter on the stupid side, its a lonely side to be on. why are you taking this so personally? he barely knows you and you barely know him…it’s not like you knew him for 8 years and he deceived you this entire time. its only been a month yo…you’ve gotta relax and live your life, meet new people, go out, have fun, get your heart broken a few times, break a few hearts…you’re twentyonefuckingyearsold dawg…if you don’t learn how to snap out of your naive ways of thinking, you’re going to become an old lonely bitter bitch who listens to Jazmine Sullivan albums all goddamn day long. this man honestly doesn’t owe you shit, and you don’t owe him shit. don’t call him. don’t text him, don’t email him. let him be. let him have sex with the women he wants to have sex with, and you move the fuck on and learn how to be happy w/ someone else. because you’re 21, and you have a whole bunch of life to live. stop putting 100% of your trust into a guy you’ve only known for 30 days, cuz that’s exactly how you get hurt. nothing wrong w/ trusting people, but you’re obviously hurt about this and i’m sorry, but that’s just too soon to be so emotionally invested. snap out of it. this is nothing more than another life lesson that you’re supposed to learn from and i hope you do that. it’s time to grow up, wise up, and be a woman about yours. there are good men out there, you just can’t force them to be that for you this early in life, which is why i repeatedly tell younger women to just enjoy these years and worry about being serious when life gets more serious.
you have to put yourself into the drivers seat of your own happiness and stop relying on some nigga you barely know to steer you down Bliss Blvd, because 9 times outta 10 you’re going to end up on Spooner St., alone and among other bottom-of-the-barrel ass niggas.
I'm 31, still n love with an x, he was a ol cheating bitch but can honestly say he's changed now, working a legit job, n church n wants me back but I'm n another state now, I know he's worth the "try again" but I'm thick n chocolate n the south lol should I give it a chance?? Thx boo, love u on twitter ;-)
why would u wanna go back to a known cheater?
i’m confused….is there a shortage of men who’d treat you better in your area or something? what exactly is it about this man that you can’t let go of, seeing as how he’s fucked you over repeatedly? what makes him a “try again” type? are you feeling like you have no other options? are you settling??
im just trying to understand…
because personally, a man has one time to cheat on me, ONE time, and then he’s dead to me. u ruin the trust, you ruin us…i dunno why more women don’t feel the same way. i mean, you know him better than i do, and i can only give you advice based on what you tell me, and my advice to you is to move the fuck on and find you a better man IN your state. when a dude knows he can repeatedly shit on you over and over, he’s going to continue doing so in SOME kinda way…and if ur the kinda woman to put up with it, then hey, yall have fun, but i wouldn’t go back to a nigga like that at all. ever. fuck the dumb shit.
I'm 22 and I've never had a boyfriend. I'm shy when I first meet people. I've been approached by men but they were not my type at all. And the men that I want don't have interest in me. Is it because I'm not out there or fast or what they want? I'm pretty modest and don't present myself as sexual. I don't like being objectified.
well, if you’re shy….that means you’re not out there introducing yourself to these men that you say you want or have interest in…right?
to put it bluntly, closed mouths don’t get fed.
you gotta figure out a comfortable way to snap out of your shyness so that it at least allows you to be somewhat social with other people so they know you are interested. you dont have to be a whore, and you don’t have to be someone you’re not. but for the love of god, speak up! what’s the worst that can happen? they’ll reject u? and?? life is all about rejection and triumph, buck up and deal with it, because life’s too damn short. a man isn’t going to just fall into your lap, you have to put some kinda effort out there if you want to spend time with another human being. and ask yourself, what qualities do i have that would make guys wanna be with me? seriously ask yourself that, write them down if you have to…do whatever you need to do to help build your self confidence and give u the balls to holla at whoever. do you have male friends? do you have any guys in your life that you’re close to that could give you some pointers? or any guys in your life that will give you some insight as to how men operate and how to appeal to them? no matter what, if its a quality man you’re trying to pull, just BE YOURSELF. im not saying be your SHY self, but exude some damn confidence in who you are as a woman and strut your shit. if you know you and some dude share similar interests, then get to know him already before the next girl does.
go for what you want in life, whether it’s a job, a man, or a dream…because the world doesn’t stop spinning for no one.
im 20. recently broke up with a dude. he lives in MD, im in ATL. and i just wanna explore the shit outta my options mann. find a nice southern gentleman. see what else is out there. he didnt take it well. said i was " throwing in the towel " on us. but forreal, i just wanna do my own thing. am i wrong?!
no matter what you do in life, someone will always be hurt by a decision you make. that’s life. you’re 20 years old yo….you need to live your life and spend the next bunch of years making a bunch of mistakes so you can learn from them. that’s what helps us become better adults. get everything out of your system and revisit the serious relationship shit waaay later. like, waaaaaaay the fuck later (trust me lol). he might be mad now, but he’ll end up doing his own thing too (trust me lol). who knows, if 5 or even 10 years from now yall still cant get enough of each other, maybe he’s the one. but for now, live your life and do what makes you happy.
hey love your blogs/twitter. you know good food so i have a question for you. have you ever been to jaleo in dc? like it? any recommendations? i was looking at the menu like ummmm, idk. never been to any of the fancier restaurants.
yes, if you love spanish food, it’s good shit. get the gazpacho, it’s unreal. i’ve never had anything like it. i need to try to duplicate it soon…its that good. they completely puree it and it just tastes like pure amazement. i had a sandwich and a salad there (honestly dont remember which), and their mini burgers. good shit. my fav place on that block though, is Oyamel and Rasika. gotdaaaaaaaaaamn son…*faints*
Resha i really need your help. I would not class my self as a tomboy but I am definatetly not a girly girl... I dont wear uggs, heels or the lil pumps. Im a jordans n sneakers type of girl but not all the way tomboy. My boyfriend i think is starting to gear towards those women who do wear heels, who do wear those lil pumps. I don't know what to do, its knocked my confidence all the way out. Do i change who i am, my style to suit him? a lot or a little? I dont know what to do... Please help!!!
well, i don’t know your boyfriend…and i don’t know what kinda relationship and bond you guys have…but if you think he’ll wander off to another chick just cuz she’s girlier than you, then yall have bigger problems.
but if he loves you for you, he should know that you are not that kinda girl and he should accept that. i bet he does accept you and you’re just paranoid. but if he doesn’t accept it, then he should go be with a girly chick and let you be free so that you can find a guy who doesn’t give a fuck what you’re wearing, as long as you’re being you and treating him like a king. not every guy is into the same kinda girl. i can empathize with how you feel, i know its probably driving you crazy and making you worry like shit…but you’re in a relationship with him, not anyone else, so TALK to him about it. tell him how you feel, tell him how whatever he’s doing to make you feel the way you feel, is making you feel lol. just dont go at him in an accusing manner, cuz that’ll make him defensive and then it’ll turn into a fight. just be like “babe, there’s something bothering me and i wanna talk to you about it..i feel ______.” communicate. you never know, he may not give a single damb that you wear sneakers and it could be all in your head. if you don’t talk to him about this, you’re gonna snap one day and it’ll just cause bigger problems.
u gotta be confident that the woman you are for him is more important than what’s on your feet (and i say that in general). but hey, heels are fun. even if you dont wanna walk in them, get u a pair and let him fuck u while u wear them. haaaay…
but remember, when it comes to good men..sure they’ll fantasize and jack off to other beautiful women who we may feel we don’t hold a candle to, but a goodman always knows what he has at home and is able to separate the fantasy w/ a random airbrushed hottie, from the love he has with you. men are visual creatures, they love looking at women in sexual ways, its in their nature…it’s who they are. women just have to learn not to take it as a personal jab every single fucking time. it’s not always about us. it doesn’t always mean that “she’s sexy” and “we’re not”. no. not at all. sometimes another bitch is a bad bitch. it be’s that way.
but only you know if you have a good man or not…so good luck ;)
Real talk: You deserve to have some man financing your lifestyle. You're that beautiful. And don't think for a minute that your value of comedy can outlie the quality of depth you have. Hell, even the things you laugh at are still of high so socio-economic value. Big ups on that.
so basically, what you’re saying is that i need a white man. noted ;)
I need some relationship advice and you seem to give good advice. I've been involved with a guy for about 1.5 yrs. We're not official because I lived in Florida & he lives in DC, but we visit every couple of months and have vacationed together. I live in NJ for a couple months and we were talking dirty and I suggested I come visit. He said that I could come but I could only stay till Saturday afternoon. I'm waiting to hear the reason I can't stay the weekend, but that's weird right?